They are too dear and valuable to me to lose in exchange for a few thousand.
Because the moment I tell them the magic phrase, “I need to borrow …” I will lose them forever. Not immediately, from minute to minute, but I lose it with 100% confidence.
I do not want them to lose confidence in me and I do not want to lose them. As soon as we exchange money, there will be an unexpected sequence of events (quite confidently) that will result in a loss of common friendship.
Borrowing from a friend is hard. But to return virtually impossible.
“They refuse to lend them much less painful and less stressful than accepting a request.”
There are bright exceptions, but these are like saffron. Almost in all cases, loans between friends turn out very poorly.
Disadvantages of lending to friends
Repayment – while you get it all at once, the repayment is in the form of infinitely small installments for an unlimited period. Who would like to honor the commitment? I borrowed from my best friend! He would wait for me for a while, he wouldn’t do anything to him.
Why unlimited? A friend will make excuses.
Why infinitely small installments? Because a friend will be in an ever-worse financial situation and will find it hard to find the money to pay in installments.
Getting your best friend all the money back in one moment is the way to hell.
It doesn’t matter that your family has nothing to eat and you need everything you gave him immediately. A friend can do that he understands … but he never forgives.
That’s how it is. In good faith, you want to help a friend, and in the end you get out of the situation as the worst. A promise is a promise, and once again there is so much among the loved ones.
Can I, as a friend, ever afford it?
I can never know what my friend is saving for. It can be a holiday, a ring for his partner, or a room refurbishment for his children.
Then I come and ask him for a (large) part of his saved money. There is no correct answer.
He refuses to lend me – I will remember he didn’t help me, lend me – he gets into trouble himself.
As a rule of thumb, your income is roughly the same as the average income of the five people you most touch.
So your friend will be very similar. Where five thousand is a heavy burden for you, it will be the same for a friend. Have you ever wondered if your friend could even afford to borrow you?
Debt repayment is not a priority
A friend can wait for me. That’s what they’re friends for, aren’t they? So if I want to buy this, I have to understand. I really need the new phone! The old ones can’t play games like before. And I boast about it on Facebook … What could happen?
A friend’s glance: So let’s go through Facebook… oh, so he bought a new cell phone. And he completely forgot me. Does that make me deliberate? Is that the cricket more valuable to him than being compared?
Borrowed money is free of interest
This type of loans is mostly interest-free. Who would also want to charge a friend extra money? After all, it’s not done.
But as a lender you lose much more – time and nerves.
Friendship is a strong bond, but when it comes to money, it becomes more fragile than cracked porcelain.
It is much better to borrow from any online lending company than to play with the friendship of your loved ones.
How to refuse a friend’s loan application?
There are many ways to say ‘no’.
Apply for a loan
The best defense is “attack”. You probably have at least one acquaintance in your area who always borrows from everyone. Just ask him if he would lend you. If he has at least a little judgment, he realizes in what situations he puts his immediate surroundings. He will experience part of the feelings that he makes to others, be it shame or embarrassment.
If he does not understand this situation in itself, then he probably cannot help him.
Ask for 24 hours for reflection
When the person really pushes you to answer, urges and makes dog pieces, tell him a day to think. “It’s a serious thing, I need to change my mind.” You take time to remember, and “no” is better said. It is a good rule to respond within 24 hours.
When it is longer, you can start thinking, the other can always remind you, you will think about it for too long. Don’t get into a situation where you succumb. If necessary, report your decision by phone or SMS. It is best to meet in person, but since you have been under pressure once, the situation is likely to recur.
Offer other help
Mostly, when someone is applying for a relative or friend’s loan, the last thing they want to hear is to solve their situation. He just wants money and wants it now. However, if you can, offer a form of assistance other than monetary assistance.
You look after the children while looking for a second job. You will help with the sale of unnecessary things. You will call a new payment schedule with your creditors. In most cases, it misses the effect, but you can try.
And if nothing else helps – donate the money
You would lose them anyway. And this will help you cope better with the situation. You will not feel guilty, help a friend and there will be no tension between you with unsettled commitments or a sense of refusal to help.